Score: 6

"Fat chicks need love too!"

submission: The Fat Anime Collab 3

date: 2 hours ago

Due to the lack of animation and the feeling that this was really more of a slide show then anything else, I couldn't really give it a higher score. I really enjoyed the ending credits techno-dance song.

All in all its a passable series and a well-rounded idea. :3

Score: 7

"Moral of the story: Look before you leap?"

submission: The Fall!

date: August 9, 2008

The animation could use some work. But you knew that.

It was entertaining as hell. The music was a good choice. It had a plot. All in all it was good!

I suggest you work on your artistic talent and eventually remake this once you can convey it in a more visually appealing way. Not bad my friend. Not bad.

Score: 6

"Now I know!"

submission: Abusive Review Guide

date: July 22, 2008

I'm glad you did this. I personally never flagged anything as abusive because I just didn't know what was considered abusive. And I've been on the site for a few years.

So thank you for this. Now make an animation!

Score: 5

"Another rant! who woulda thunk it?"

submission: : Door Holding :

date: July 21, 2008

You've all read my "I think Foamy's getting stale" reviews before, so I won't do that again.

I will instead offer Foamy advice. If you hold the door open and don't look at the person's face behind you, they seem to have trouble recognizing whether or not you were actually holding the door open for them. They either don't say thank you, or if they would be upset over it, they figure you probably didn't even know they were there and opt not to make a stink over it. To make it even more convincing if they do say "thank you", do not offer a "you're welcome". Just walk away and don't look back so they don't remember your face.

Score: 8

"You captured retro very well"

submission: Asteroid Revenge Enhanced

date: July 16, 2008

I read some suggestions regarding graphics and how you took the lazy approach to them. I disagree. It looks like you made a faithful homage to the original asteroids game, and it was enjoyable. If anything, the enemies should not be able to target you so quickly once you exit one side of the stage and reappear on the other. And where's that flying saucer that would show up and shoot in random directions with that annoying buzzing sound? If there was anything I as an asteroid would want to take revenge on, it would be that!

I'd love to see a multi player version. People control the asteroids and one or more people play as the ships. Give it matchmaking among random people on the internet, that would really make it a perfect game in my eyes, even if it borders excessive.

Good job.

Score: 7

"Some suggestions"

submission: How 2 Succeed on NG pt.2

date: July 3, 2008

Tip#7- Use a grandiose echo effect on your voice so you trick a viewer into thinking that what you say is important.

It really doesn't matter what you say. As long as you say it with the "voice of god" someone will listen. As a matter of fact, you can completely distract people from your boring animation and terrible comedic timing in such a manner.

Tip#8- Make a completely unnecessary sequel.

If people liked your animation, congratulations. If you ever find yourself really not planning to make a second one, but then figure "eh, why the fuck not", you probably shouldn't make a second one. Chances are, it'll spawn its own parodies, hence diluting the collective originality of Newgrounds even more. And its never fun to hear anyone say that your animations are "getting old".

Tip#9- In your Author Comments, claim that the animation was a joke and reviewers shouldn't find any offense in it.

This will immediately clear the air over whether or not your animation was targeting any animator in particular. Fanboys wont be so quick to judge, and will undoubtedly give you a higher score because you are so perceptive in noticing trends on Newgrounds. Nothing boosts a reviewer score higher then when at the end of the animation they can say to themselves "he's right".

Tip#10- Dont label a review useless because you dont agree with it, or because it isn't funny.

(This review was a joke, so dont get your panties in a bunch)

Good Job.

Score: 10

"No I havent found the secret level"

submission: Cannon Blaster 2

date: June 20, 2008

But I did enjoy this game a lot. The cheats were a nice touch, and the last level was tricky you clever dog you.

Score: 8

"....!?"

submission: Birthday Surprise

date: June 20, 2008

Well thats something you don't see everyday. *slowly backs away..

Score: 10

"Snow"

submission: Peaceful Snowfall

date: June 11, 2008

I appreciate your work.

I'm giving this animation a 10, because of the entertainment value of the reviews this piece has garnered.

You made an animation to calm people down and it is actually pissing off a number of people. I wonder if my review will piss off other people too, even though it has nothing to do with them.

If anyone feels like reviewing my review, message me. As for you Jonathan maybe your next project could be a frenzied fire to get people excited? Judging by the way some people are, they'll probably rate it low for being too "all over the place" or something.

Unbelievable.

Score: 8

"This is intriguing"

submission: Owls

date: June 11, 2008

Although I believe your other animations and songs are more catchy, I'm glad you addressed the fact that he is indeed *SPOILER*.

I knew just by the snooty look on his face that he couldn't be human. And I'm hoping the next batch of wannabe singers come to their auditions wearing T-shirts with that message, and use this song as their ticket into showbiz.

Good Job.